True Colors

The greatest people I know are currently becoming the truest versions of themselves. 

M is spending a lot of time in prayer with Jesus, soaking herself in a feeling of love and belonging. J recently started a sexual liberation, entering unknown territory and tearing down the walls of monogamous relationships. L is slowly and steadily writing her way out of the business world into a place less polished and more true to her. E is no longer trying to please everyone at her own expense and S is radically rethinking the importance of her job, breaking the chains of perfectionism and unfruitful comparison, giving herself room to breathe. 

There is no one way of cutting through the noise of voices that are not our own. But whenever someone makes a move towards inner freedom, the universe seems to be shifting a little. Last month, I happened to be talking to three of the beautiful butterflies I mentioned above, and when revealing their most intimate feelings and their latest decisions, they radiated a sense of calm and clarity that I rarely experienced elsewhere. 

There is no one way to break free, but all of those crucial moments I have witnessed in myself and others – the moments when the fog is lifting and a new path is opening up -, all of them tend to start with us not shying away from our feelings and not being ashamed of our true longings. Not backing off, not denying our emotions, but taking a very close and curious look at them, giving ourselves permission to feel it all: the rage, the envy, the sadness and despair – and then using them as a compass to recalibrate.

Currently, I spend a lot of time exposing myself to my fears and exploring what the most courageous version of me looks like. What would I be doing if I was able to shut down all the other voices in my head in order to just listen to my intuition? For me, this involves, for instance:

• having way less rules around media usage and sugar consumption for my kids and trusting them to find a sustainable balance with our help;
• giving my kids an extra-dose of love when they are moody, angry and jealous instead of pushing them away;
• spending money generously instead of saving it;
• saying no to many meetings and gatherings – even when I don’t have a good excuse, just because I realized I need so much more time by myself to process everything;
• being vulnerable and imperfect;
• not pretending to have an answer to most of my questions;
• doing nothing.

What would you be doing if you weren’t afraid?

I wish all of us the courage and to move towards what feels warm and clear, to lift above our fears and to become the truest, freest and most beautiful versions of ourselves. 

Lots of love,
Tanja

This text was first published in my though-letter Tanja’s Butterflies (May Edition 2022). If you are interested in receiving the next editions in your inbox with additional resources, you can subscribe here.