Good-bye 2022, hello 2023!

Opt in, opt out – this was my mantra for 2022. I started it by deleting my entire newsletter base, giving all subscribers the opportunity to make a deliberate choice of whether or not to re-subscribe (still very thrilled so many of you came back 🙂

When we look at other people’s lives, we tend to see all the things they accomplished, but are missing most of the context on the price they paid, the opportunities they did not pursue or how they felt about their choices. While I am looking back on a very successful year at Product Academy, I want to shed some light on things I opted out on:

• at least 7 podcasts and 4 conferences I was invited to speak at
• countless coffee chats and dinners with old friends and new acquaintances (because I am still working 40% and most nights are reserved for my family or my sports routine)
• building bigger online trainings (because that would not be in line with the Product Academy mantra “feels like family”)
• growing my business faster by sacrificing my time with the kids or my freedom to develop the company without being tied to investors, long-term contracts etc
• optimizing for Linkedin algorithms and worrying about posting too much, too little, too many external links…

Instead, I opted in to seeing more of the people and doing more of the things that bring me joy (which is what I am ultimately optimizing for):

• listening to my intuition instead of other people’s voices in my head (sorry, beloved parents 😉
• investing time in myself (me-time, therapy, silence, writing and reflection), even at the cost of spending time with my husband or family at times – because I know I need this as an introvert and it will pay off for them, too.
• spending entire weekends with people I deeply care about, preferably surrounded by nature
• sharing some of my writing
• eating chocolate whenever I feel like it without feeling bad about it

Some of my opt-ins did not work out as intended (yet):

• I was supposed to go on a yoga retreat in Marocco, but realized my passport was expired the day before (that’s what happens when you take care of everyone more than yourself…)
• I still have not managed to come up with a good writing routine and am looking at two half-finished books in my drawer…
• I still don’t feel at home in my body after my pregnancies and decades of eating disorders, but I’m continuously working on it.

Here are my top three learnings from 2022:

NOTHING TEACHES YOU TO LIVE LIKE A CHILD ABOUT TO DIE.

That’s a line from a poem of mine, written for Amelie – my dear friends› daughter who tragically died in October after having been diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumor in April. She is my daughter’s age, and what she and her family have gone through this year is impossible, unspeakable, unbearable. Without knowing it, this little girl has taught me more than anyone else this year.

It’s ironic how we suddenly stop hustling

When we’re running out of time

Amelie and her family have shown me how to choose between hustling and caring, between shutting down and showing up, between chasing the future and dancing in the moment. So I am in the process of very carefully re-evaluating which battles I want to pick while living a life I will die from…

WE ARE ALL LOOKING FOR THE HUMAN SWITCH.

Speaking of poetry: This year has given me the opportunity to deeply connect to a wonderful human who I now consider my sister. Arjanna van der Plas has not only proven to be an amazing business partner and an inspiring teacher, but also turned out to be the catalyst I needed on my ongoing journey to find my voice as a writer, more precisely: as a poet. I have been writing poetry for as long as I can remember, but have never shared this is a side of mine with anyone except my sister. So it took all of my courage to step onto the stage of the WOMEN’s HUB Zurich in September to read a couple of my poems (including the one for Amelie, just days before she passed away). Feeling the raw and magical energy of 50 women showing up as they are with all their vulnerability has been incredible, and I feel very held and seen with this most fragile and authentic side of mine.

Deep down inside so many of us feel really lonely with our struggles: addiction, anxiety, sadness, anger, infertility, abuse … you name it. We are pretending like we got it all figured out. We brag about our successes and hide our flaws and fears. But what we really crave is to be held and seen while we are humaning our way through this one beautiful and messy life. What we are deeply longing for is each other’s truly human side. So I made a promise to let my true self shine through the cracks. Everyday a little more.

RESISTING THE SIRENS OF GROWTH

Pursuing growth for growth’s sake can do a lot of harm and brings out to worst in people – I’ve been able to witness this on several occasions in the start-up world. I am a big believer in putting the value of your product at the center of your attention (and if you are too, you should check out Leah’s new PLG Guide). I am also extremely cautious of premature scaling or scaling at all costs. As my business at Product Academy has been growing over the past couple of years it got harder and harder to resist the temptation to double down on growth. The stages are getting more and more crowded, the product management market is flooded with freelancers, training providers and self-proclaimed experts. And I would be lying if I said this was not taking a toll on me personally. While keeping my work load constant at 14-16 hours per week has helped me tremendously in keeping my borders in check, I have noticed that I am experiencing more and more fear of missing out lately which leaves me feeling uneasy and inquiet inside.

“How much is enough?” is the one question I keep coming back to in order to ground myself. As product people we are trained to spot opportunities and problems worth solving, so we’ll never run out of things to do. There is always that next client you could acquire, program you could launch or tool you could build. After a marathon of launching my company with little kids by my side (Matteo was only three months old when I founded it), I really feel it’s time for a break. That is why our family is going to spend two months in Bali next year in June and July. To disconnect from our hamster wheels and to reconnect with ourselves and each other. So next year basically consists of two big buckets: my pre-Bali life and my post-Bali life. The former is filled with cool training projects, events and ideas. The latter is my greatest gift to myself: an empty calendar that allows for personal growth and for a deliberate decisions on how exactly to continue my journey.

There is one big topic connecting both buckets – a mantra I set for myself for 2023:

JOINING FORCES

On all levels, I am making a promise to myself to act less from a scarcity mindset and more from a feeling of kindness. Less driven by pride or fear and more inspired by anything that can be accomplished when joining forces like

• combining passion projects (like poetry and product management…)
• asking for help and providing support – in my communities of parents, peers and professionals
• working side by side instead of in competition
• connecting body and mind
• looking for inspiration in both Eastern and Western culture – from food to family, from philosphy to spirituatily.

If you spot any opportunity to join forces with me personally or professionally let me know – I am all ears 🙂

Happy 2023, everyone!

Lots of love

Tanja

PS: My inofficial mantra for 2023 is «Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll» – but that one needs a looooot of context 😉 I’ll tell you over a glass of apple juice if you like…