Fuse

I am writing to you from a hotel room in Amsterdam where I concluded a week that did not go according to plan. My daughter caught scarlet fever, my son had some weird rash on his belly that we needed to observe for a while – all of this while my husband was on a business trip. My son’s birthday was accompanied by a lot of tantrum and – of course – at work lots of stuff was piling up… My fuse was getting shorter by the minute, and I ended up yelling at the kids way more often than I should have.

Now that I am sitting here after a good night’s sleep, a work-out and great talks with my friend Isa, I am back to my normal heart rate and reflecting on situations and sentences that trigger my inner rage. Apart from the obvious list of kids calling me names and regular work or marriage stuff, here are some of my top triggers in no particular order:

• People stopping at the top of an escalator.
• My husband asking me: “What’s for lunch?”
• Dirt on a freshly vacuumed floor.
• A ladder in my tights when I am about to leave my house.
• Techno music.
• Looking for my keys.
• Crooked eyeliner.
• Feeling like I am too much for others.
• Feeling like I am not enough.

Some of them might sound familiar to you. But there are also some ways to immediately fill my cup. Here are some sentences and acts of love that work miracles with me – butterfly sentences so to speak:

• “There is a lot on your plate. You have every right to be <enter dark emotion here>.”
• “Would you like to vent about it?”
• “Take some time for yourself, I got this.”
• “All the Christmas presents are taken care of, honey.”
• “This is why I married you.”
• “I took the liberty to book a cabin in the mountains for us. The kids will be picked up by my aunt and your bag is ready to go.”
• “There is pumpkin soup and chocolate cake in the fridge.”
• Silence when I need it the most.
• Dancing to Madonna songs. 

What are your triggers and magic repairs?

Lots of love from rainy Amsterdam

Tanja

PS: next time I’ll write about why I am tracking the “yell index” and what this has to do with personal OKRs 🙂