My summer was all "in between". In between ending and re-starting kindergarden. In between day trips, visiting relatives and even our first real camping get-away with the kids (which felt like five minutes at the lake wrapped in two days of packing and two days of unpacking...
A few weeks ago I hired a cleaning lady. I thought the difficult part would be finding someone I trust who is efficient, autonomous and flexible. That part turned out to be quite easy. Within four days I had found a great match. The tough part, however, is figuring out whether I really want a stranger cleaning my house. Whether to put yet another fixed appointment in my calendar. Whether to let someone take a close look at each and every corner of a lovely, but pretty imperfect home. Not an easy taskf or me. It turns out I'm the kind of person who cleans before the cleaner...
The greatest people I know are currently becoming the truest versions of themselves. M is spending a lot of time in prayer with Jesus, soaking herself in a feeling of love and belonging. J recently started a sexual liberation, entering unknown territory and tearing down the walls of monogamous relationships. L is slowly and steadily writing her way out of the business world into a place less polished and more true to her. E is no longer trying to please everyone at her own expense and S is radically rethinking the importance of her job, breaking the chains of perfectionism and unfruitful comparison, giving herself room to breathe. There is no one way of cutting through the noise of voices that are not our own. But whenever...
Today, I was supposed to board a plane to Morocco, to do some yoga with my dear friends Judith and Stefanie and to put some daylight between myself and my every-day life. Instead, this morning I had to go for a run in the *freaking* snow next to my house. I am surrounded by my every-day laundry and my every-day kids. For weeks, I had this feeling that something was about to go wrong with this trip. I have extensively been wearing face masks, got tested several times and planned every little detail about this trip. I am literally sitting on a perfectly packed suitcase with a negative PCR test, a triple-checked excel packing list and a pre-filled entry form for the airport in Morocco. The one tiny...
This is the first time I missed my bi-weekly Friday slot to send out my Butterflies. It's also the first time we ever took in a refugee family. After weeks of feeling overwhelmed and helpless looking at the terrible war in Ukraine, we had an opportunity to make a difference for someone in need - and it turned out to be one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever had. We had registered on several platforms at the beginning of the war, offering a room for a small family, but the moment I received several Whatsapps from strangers asking whether they could stay with us made me quite nervous. Was I underestimating the support they would need? Would the kids get along and be able to...
I don't know about you, but I have the hardest time finding butterfly moments these days looking at the pain and misery inflicted on people right outside our door steps. I am not saying I am no longer experiencing joy with the kids and at work, but everything feels tainted right now. So I was not even sure whether I wanted to send out a message at all at this point in time. The news tickers are bursting with updates, lots of humanitarian projects are bubbling up on social media, everything seems to have been said and it feels like I am lacking the right words to express my feelings anyway. Whenever that happens, I turn to poetry instead. For days, a line from a poem by Joy Harjo has been ringing in...
I have to admit: I sometimes envy people without kids. Not long ago, I used to be one of them. Choosing how to spend my evenings instead of falling asleep at my toddlers' bedside. Waking up after a full night's sleep. Finishing an entire meal in peace. Making plans for the day without planning around someone's naptime. Before I had a family, I wasn't even aware of how much me-time I had. So as I said: I sometimes envy people without kids...
It’s been quite a ride. While the world was struggling to get back to what we once knew to be normal, I was finally getting comfortable with being odd, off and peculiar, with feeling all the feelings. Fed up with being worried about any sort of competition, I slowly started carving my way back to feeling unique. Not in a presumptuous way, more in the way we all are unique once we find our spot and stop overwriting our true nature with some sort of social consensus. For the truest version of ourselves, there really is no competition out there. For me, this process involves a lot of writing. My writing has always been dead serious to me. And this year, I finally got serious about...
It’s been the third time now that I start the new year with 30 days of yoga practice. Not with the primary intention of becoming fitter, more flexible or to shape my body in a specific way. Rather to remind myself that when I really set an intention, I am able to carve out 30 minutes a day to make it happen - even and especially on days that feel like there is not a minute left to even brush my teeth. I show up for myself every day, and it really means something to me every time. I myself am definitely not particularly good at yoga. My tree is shaky, my down dog curved and my crane keeps crashing...
Just a few pounds less to finally wear that pair of jeans.Just a couple more grand on your savings account to start your sabbatical. Your new business. Your early retirement. Just a tad more work experience to ask for that promotion. Just a bit more talent to sing in public. Join that dance class. Write that book. Just a few more years until the kids are older to re-claim your life.Just a little more certainty to marry your partner. A little less worries to start that new chapter of your life. ************* Who would you be if you were no longer afraid of not being ready? What would you do differently if you considered yourself enough - right now? What if we were to start the new year less focused on how to improve, but more...